it’s mercenary, is what it is


this is a strange little story

of a strange little child

who went and became a work hazard.

you see, this child was looking at work in creating content, as one does who daydreams in the night and lives out nightmares for an afternoon’s entertainment.

but to do that, they needed a much more powerful device. and the small, barely working netbook that was their pride and joy only two years ago was not much of a powerful or a device.

as you can imagine, since money is tight and the opportunities to earn that money is even tighter, any consideration of getting an upgrade was tossed out the window.


that child is me, and if you pair me with anything, it’s almost guaranteed to break. or, well, get water spilled on it, the keys drenched and then later melted off, nothing big.


so as you can imagine, i’m currently writing this on my phone.

how the good snick snack frickety frack did that happen, you may ask? 

to be honest, i don’t know. one moment i was drinking water, the next moment i was wading through water frantically googling alternatives for rice. (grass is a poor material, i learned that the hard way.)

there were many funny anecdotes gleaned from that unfortunate event, including but not limited to trying to put the laptop in the oven (disaster), struggling to unscrew the back to get the battery (disaster disaster) and finally, in desperation, grabbing a hairdryer.

and turning it on.

to max.

on the keys.

the plastic keys.

(disaster disaster disaster)

“why are you putting your hands on your hearts?”

“to pay respect”

“but it’s a laptop”

“no, it’s for us *holds out ruined keyboard* because we’re DEAD”

in hindsight, i mean, m a y b e direct heat was going to melt the keyboard, but how was i supposed to know that?

“your laptop’s ruined!”

“yes, you could, in fact, say it was smoked out.”

i’m currently about to be executed for crimes against mankind and horrible puns, but in my defense, the opportunity sizzled out of nowhere!

i’ll take myself to jail, thank you very much.

i was telling the tragic tale to a few friends when someone mentioned the incident would be hilarious in a book sometime. which i immediately agreed with, and from then wished i could garner some interest and coin for these misplaced efforts.

and well. 

that led to this. 

*points to link below*

it’s like an art commission thing! but stories! 😀

there isn’t so much of a pressure to give, but if you particularly liked one of my works and wanted to help fund this sad little moron, then that’s how you could, whether for a story or for the generosity in your heart. both ways, it’s extremely appreciated.

and yes, i’ll try to be more careful and less punny.

*jumps into the void*

10 thoughts on “it’s mercenary, is what it is

  1. Jo honey, when you work out all those stories and get a new laptop please don’t drink any water near it.

    Anyway, that’s a cool idea to make money! I don’t have any story ideas(and I just spent $60 on books, and I promised to buy my friends new book…) so I don’t think I’ll buy any commissions now. But, would it help for me to mention it in my next blog post? I can do that, if you want.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mmmm
      haven’t we all

      and that’s totally understandable— i’d really appreciate any amount of sharing, especially since it’s predominantly a lot of fanfiction that i’m specializing in. 🙂 but it’s up to you!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. RIP laptop

    But no, seriously, I am so sorry that happened! I’ve been in situations like that before, and it’s so miserable. I hope you get a new laptop soon! And I think it’s pretty impressive that you managed to turn a bad situation into a creative endeavor like this 😉 I don’t have money to give right now, but I’ll try to reblog this post if I can figure out WordPress? Would that be okay with you?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. i’m so sorry about what happened with your laptop!!! 😦

    also, the story commission idea is SO cool! 😉 i unfortunately don’t have the money to support you as of now, but i know it’s going to work out amazingly, especially when people read your beautiful writing 😀 good luck ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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