mudbloods, but make it worse

flag of Philippines
do i have my own photos? yes
am i still using these unsplash stills? yes
do i have issues? oh yeah

there’s a caste system in everything. the philippines is only one of many countries that employ one.

it starts with what we associate with success and fame and the “It” goal: being white. sometimes this can be replaced with being american on a good day, sometimes it’s just anyone with unbelievably fairer skin. either way, this ingrained goal, despite not actually being stated, is why the skin whitening industry is so successful and why most representation of filipinos is unbelievably lightskinned. or, in nicer terms, “fair.”

then it breaks down into being mestizo, which is a fancy colonizer way to say having mixed blood. if your genes are good and you’re “fair” then you have a pretty secure grip on the societal ladder. if you don’t, at least you have a “fair” parent. having mixed families is, for some reason, romanticised and fetishized, which isn’t cool, but somehow nobody talks about that? anyway.

the more melanin you have, the less you’re seen as equal to the “It” goal, or seen as equal, or even seen in general, and it’s this weird horrible phenomenon of internalizing colonial thinking that’s led filipinos to either:

favoring the system

or

favoring the exact opposite, which spurns anyone who isn’t pure filipino.

enter the anomaly that is having both biological parents mixed themselves, growing up in a different country, absorbing three cultures without really knowing where they come from, and finally, going back to the place it all started, and being unnaturally, atypically, ungodly, different.

enter me.

i don’t say all of this to the old guy sitting on the plastic chair by the street though. his confused reaction at my sudden spout of words would just confirm my point, and despite knowing it solidly for about all my life i’m not ready to hear it from another person. so i don’t say any of that when he says

“are you chinese?”

do i LooK like i want to scream, but i realize that i probably do.

“ah, my dad’s filipino, my mom’s chinese,” i answer.

i’m lying. my biological parents have so many different elements in both their dna, chinese included, that just transferred onto me. genetics people, genetics.

but i can’t bring out a punnet square and clarify to this interesting wrinkled person who eagerly waved at my camera just a few minutes ago, not to someone that probably doesn’t even know what genes are, not to someone who doesn’t know, period. easier for him and me.

that last bit’s a lie too. this sucks.

it’s a cruel world, one in which my skin isn’t dark enough to be oppressed and not light enough to be fetishized, in which i’ll still be asked if i have an accent or where i come from or applauded for having perfect english, in which i am a surprise because i’m not like “the others” but that just makes me an other. is that really much of an improvement?

being a token diverse person in the eyes of those who haven’t yet come face to face with the reality that a person can be so complex in every single sense of the word isn’t the worst thing ever, but it… isn’t fun. and it makes connecting with what little of this culture and of being a person of color i can call “mine”, because none of it seems to be, really.

like i can’t infringe on the specific opportunities for one people group despite not having those for mine either, or go to community centers created for priority neighborhood kids despite growing up one.

i don’t have any happy conclusion, but i imagine hermoine and all those other kids must’ve felt the same struggles in their weird fantasy world, somehow, in some strange way, must’ve related to not belonging. i don’t know much about fantasy worlds, so don’t kill me.

all i do know is we all have a bit of that magic in all of us, especially in the mixed and the barely there and the very much there that it makes no sense to divide ourselves by arbitrary lines that get blurred every single time.

and i wish i could answer this guy when he asks

“where do you come from”

and i wish i didn’t have to answer this question again.

~hey guys it’s me, the biggest disappointment you know, jo~

hallway light

it is four am.

yoooo sup, welcome to another night of this amazing thing called insomnia.

all things considered the vibes are almost immaculate. just forget the microwave that was supposed to be cleaned

and this paper due in three days

and a myriad of problems that have all been shoved to the side and run away from for as long as possible

and the lack of air conditioning

and it’s a pretty dang great scene

like

fans running at full speed tempting the fates to shut the power down

like

a microwave brownie mug cake whipped up and resting on the desk with steam coming from the cracks in the aesthetically pleasing top

like

the sleep podcast that streams through my ears and promises to be my buddy while i drift off

which i appreciate

like the world promises to be at peace at this time

and of course the world always lies, but you know what i mean?

“therapy,” someone cries. “jo you need therapy” to which i reply

in THIS economy?

money is such a sad thought that my foggy brain can’t think about it without deciding to cut off that necessary evil known as serotonin, and look at that, now we’re viben’t

but see like

the thing about insomnia is it’s so invitingly stupid

perhaps there’s a better way to phrase this

but the One time that i voluntarily attempt to be a body at rest is the One time where everything screams Life! Liberty! The Pursuit Of Being Contrary! Song Lyrics! Wake Up!

it’s painful, it’s beautiful, it’s four twenty in the am

how ironic, to watch time slip past as rest taunts you from afar

awwwww can’t sleep can’t sleep look who can’t sleep look who sits side by side with their demons look who makes mug cakes for the monsters under the bed

shut up

it’s true it’s true true true true

listen buddy i don’t need advice from my doubts right now end of conversation

and then my mind laughs because in shutting it down i have quoted a lyric from nf and now i’ll have something new to ponder over for an hour

sigh

i don’t know

i want to feel alive, i want to feel something new, something different

to run away

to leave it all again

equally

you could say what my mind is crying for, thinking about, searching so desperately, never finding is not, in fact, pulling a santa fe, but actually being a decently functional human and going the fudge to sleep

i want fudge

and your point is proven already

at this time in life sometimes i’m glad i’m alone, because imagine having to deal with a waking monster child that wanders the house asking what the meaning of life is and hadn’t we put the world on timeout

i mean, i have to deal with myself and that is a terrifying statement

the podcast gently occupying my ears makes no sense and i relate to that on a personal level

and here i feel the need to spin this into some inspirational little piece of words, but the plain and simple truth is i do not want to

i wish for peace upon the world, but i can’t bring it

i hope everyone can find rest but i don’t know where it is

and i think sleep is lovely and if you find some tell me how

i’ll be waiting in my stuffy room and the hallway light is on

many thoughts head full

isn’t that a funny thing

when the dreamer is wide awake

sigh

please

go to sleep

you’re no use to anyone dead

like you’re useful alive?

well

well that’s something we find out tomorrow, isn’t it

now, goodnight.

but is it—

AHHHHHHH

diy jo style post, definitive tutorial

Andy Samberg Jake Peralta GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Find & Share ...

welp

you asked for it (actually i think it was diamond who asked it but): how to write posts jo style, a step by step tutorial. because what the world needs right now is angsty walls of text with no capitalization and/or proper punctuation. that. makes sense

but alas, here we are.

how to write a jo-style post


step one: do nothing.

why so specific? who knows? a simple way to do nothing is to promise yourself that you’ll get all of your lit essays done before tuesday so you can watch the bway jackbox stream, then get distracted by clara’s instagram because her photography is literal gold, then obsessively hunt through rhi and charis’ blogs for good books to read, and then have a discussion about sexuality with your very conservative, very biblical, and very dorky brother, and finally, when you’ve absolutely spent the very last minute of any free time, b e h o l d. an idea springeth forth from the grave to haunt you.

however, you do not act upon it, you watch some edits of awae on youtube and start screeching at 3am in the morning. very important part of this step.

step two: let your emotions build up, and then dramatically begin to release them.

to build up emotions, start by never mentioning them to anyone ever if you can possibly help it, or on one supportive friend who is willing to suffer through your sensitive feeling nature (as shown in the above step.). listen to some random angsty music by people you don’t know and you’re basically going to start bursting with too many feelings you don’t know how to handle. wait til midnight, sit out on the porch, look up at the stars, ignore the bajillion bug bites your legs are being violated with, and cry for two minutes about how loki deserved better. at the end of that, by next year, you’ll be able to write that expressive trainwreck of thought onto paper.

step three: grab the nearest writing tool around and begin to formulate letters.

important thing to mention: do we actually write in the wordpress editor, which comes with lovely ways of formatting, designing, editing, adding pictures, and finally publishing?

n O

this is an act of reason and common sense, which goes directly against the carefully built infrastructure of chaos and madness and burnt oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies created for the regular jo. no, instead, you find a coffee cup, a pen, and scribble your words on the side with no words. hopefully with no coffee in it either. if you abstain from caffeine, the text space to your ex, some ripped up checks stuffed in the fridge, your roommate’s open phone, or on the back of an envelope you sent to your cousin with a 5 year old letter in it dramatically saying that everyone on the earth should be passionate about being good, will do just as well. just be sure to burn the letter or erase it from the universe entirely.

step four: hyperfixate on your disaster work and run with the vibe.

this is where you do novel things like WRITING IN ALL CAPS or *putting asterisk actions* and adding,,, awkwardness,, with punctuation. or. marking the flat lines. with. just. periods. you know? you know? know?? hfikaghniauetkntiug oh oh and keyboard smashing and pAsSiVe-aGgReSsIvE capitalization patterns are added! for texture!

of course,

to add gravitas to your work,

make sure the important thing has its own line.

or column of lines.

and don’t forget the importance of references and all that jazz. shade a few people who quote their favorite bands in every single post because you don’t wanna be basic and say that navigating by stars is such a special line in a comment on a post about being brave cause it doesn’t quite… fit.

step five: like a proud frankenstein, release your creation into the world to be admired by all and spammed by bots.

it’s the year 2031, and you’ve finally gotten your post written! huzzah! whatever that means!

the final steps toward publishing are to steal– borrow an aesthetic picture from unsplash or pinterest or both, slap it onto the front, hit preview, find yourself saying “senge’ instead of “saga”, cry, fix it, decide you’re humourous enough, and then schedule it for the next morning. you will not remember that you did so, so when people start commenting you will be absolutely lost because you totally forgot that you did that, which you will then make up for by reading said post, cringing, and profusely thanking the 5 people who read it for not ghosting you entirely.


and then

you repeat the process all over again.

*bows humbly*

~i know i talk too much, i’m abrasive, jo~

everything all at once, i suppose

i have never made sense, i never will, don’t worry too much about it

sick Archives - Reaction GIFs

it’s

MY

breakdown and

I

get to choose the level of teenage angst

*i n h a l e s*

hi! i’m jo! i identify as a moron, allergies include shrimp, dust mites, and the whole world apparently, unaddressed depression Thriving, and you’re watching

*THE SAD TACO TRUCK FIRE CHANNEL*

where nothing, and i can’t stress this clearly enough, nothing, goes right

featuring! war! bloodshed! government invasion of privacy! the beginnings of trauma! my nonexistent sanity! and most importantly, pizza with pineapple on it!

have f u n with That, Kids!


when i die say something nice
wear comfy pajamas and bring fried rice
watch all the instagram stories i set to private
the things i’ve only said in the silence

when i die please gather round
pretend i was a memory you won’t throw out
wipe your tears and blow your nose
forget about it all when you go

when i die if i ever called you friend
do me a favor and for an hour pretend
that the person you came to grieve
actually made any mark in the light of eternity


my pinterest feed seems to worry about me and i admire that very much

like lately it’s been full of angry twitter posts and tumblr rants that cry for the dystopian protagonists to begin saving the day and like, can we handle that rn? nope

so now it has art of fantastical places and edits and happy comics and baking recipes and room inspiration and laugh out loud trashposts and all of this grossly domestic vibe which is super sweet but i wouldn’t ever say that if my life depended on it (nevermind that i just did)

the question is is it pinterest,

or is it the people who i follow that saved me from stressing over another source of bad news

either way, thank you


the following is a snippet of something i sent in to select friends, enemies, and undecided, and i figured it fit with the crack vibes this is emanating, so here you go

"i cannot talk very well. 
especially to big macho guys. 
especially if said big macho guy had seen me successfully hurl a knife into a palm tree and cackle like a stereotypical witch 
(more on that later.)
"a n x i et yyyyy"
"jo:
nightguard:
jo: AGHHH HUMAN"

i figured this out last night watching the storm beat down on the windows and honestly it passes the vibe check

my greatest fear is being irrelevant

insignificance

and i wonder why, you know? is it a mental thing to feel everything more deeply than they’re meant to be? is it just me? could i just inherently not be good enough for anyone to want to interact? will i be doomed to leaving people too stunned to react?

and i don’t know
how would i

what is the point of art if nobody sees it? what is the purpose of a message that isn’t heard? why say anything if nobody listens? why exist if it ultimately doesn’t matter?

and i struggle with reminding myself that things don’t require a useful purpose to be loved, and that is Okay, like how technically nobody needs nutella but the world would be a dismal place without it

and perhaps insignificance isn’t a horror, because then when you do anything nobody can say “but you’re supposed to be meaningful!” because you never were to begin with
so you can just reply, “no, i’m being me” and that’s the best meaningful you can get


so here’s the thing

we’ve saying “black lives matter” seriously for a couple of weeks now and the message has been cried out for literal years

and yet, the overwhelming response seems to be “we Know, Stop Saying It :((”

and that’s frustrating

people being hurt without reason is frustrating. the hurters getting away with it is frustrating. the people who were supposed to help about it doing the exact opposite is frustrating. being ignored and being rejected and being laughed at and being forgotten is frustrating.

so no wonder people shout

just all that to say

harm can be passive


a m i n i p la y l i s t

it would be you – ben rector
so will i – ben platt
battle cry – the family crest
paper rings – taylor swift
king of anything – sara barielles


a self portrait

“don’t we look m a r v e l o u s, isn’t it g a y” – talkfine
(look colors)


oooh some beautiful people did some beautiful things lately:

look it’s weez!

evelyn seems so cool

sarah cracked me up

ahhh clara


and finally some closing notes:

  • it’s summer
  • if you look up june 13 2019 and june 13 2020 on here they’re both drastically different but about the same thing
  • it’s summer!!
  • for independence day everyone should watch hamilton and reconsider their heritage (and also donate to a charity of their choice)
  • look up juneteenth and be still for a moment
  • google baby ducks tripping over their feet
  • call enni a duck in her about page on the 27th (pls i’m not kidding)
  • summer!!
  • remember it’s june love who you love and also respect people’s pronouns
  • do something absolutely horribly stupidly childishly fun that screams summer because yes

⎯  𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 : @𝘱𝘢𝘷𝘭𝘹𝘷𝘦 🔮 * ·゚

~we’re all a little mad sometimes, jo~

rose and jo take on the playlist swap

r e a d i n s i t e t y

We should do a playlist collab
Like Enni

yes yes

and that’s your intro folks.


Songs for Jo:

  1. used to you-mxmtoon 

I discovered mxmtoon last year and I’ve gotten Jo to listen to a few of her songs, because I think they’ll really relate to them. I know I for sure can. Personally, I’m obsessed with the intro to this song and I think it’s overall super cute and soft and relatable and ah. I love it. So so much. 

help help help help it’s soft and pure and safe and almost lullaby-ish? i love it. the ending and the beginning were almost ethereal in a playful sort of way. i’d listen to that on a midnight playlist on repeat for ages.

  1. hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have-but I have it-Lana Del Rey

Lana Del Rey has a super unique voice/vocal style which *smol disclaimer* is not for everyone. I picked this one because Jo said something on their livestream (go listen to it) which reminded me of the chorus. The storyline is interesting and it gives off musical vibes. And Jo loves musicals. So overall, this is a great song for that. Smol disclaimer to anyone else who might want to listen to this: it’s explicit, so please be mindful of that. 

wow. the lyrics in this are so real. the harmonies and echoes in here are beautiful, and just everything in this. goodness. it really sings like a bittersweet ballad. i’d absolutely listen to this again. it’s almost a journal entry that everyone’s written at one point in their lives. 

  1. 400 Lux-Lorde

Lorde is a newer favorite artist of mine, but I remain obsessed. I love the background vocal part of the chorus (I don’t know how else to describe it). It makes the song so incredible. I’ve been listening to it constantly because it (I guess) reminds me of young love and human interaction, which are, at least where I live, harder to come by.  It’s very YA contemporary/teen movie which are things Jo loves. I almost cried when I first heard it because of how beautiful it is. 

the synth! i like it already. lorde’s voice is oddly soothing, and all the different textures in this song is so fascinating. absolutely a bop. honestly all of these picks feels like someone peeked into my mind and turned them into songs. i’m really loving the ya vibe and the funky emo sounds.

  1. Colors-Halsey

Okay I’ve heard this song once but all the color metaphors? Everything is blue? Everything is gray? It has been stuck in my head since I heard it and I need to ensure it’s stuck in someone else’s head too. The songwriting is really beautiful and it’s amazing how much emotion is conveyed. It’s one of those sadder songs that sound happy, so yeah. Enjoy.

rage pop? we stan. the wanderlustyoungadultsondering vibes are really strong with this. also i love how bold the lyrics are— and the siren sounds in the background? that sounds like something finneas would do *looks it up* doesn’t look like he did, but the sounds in this mix so beautifully. and the colors are too accurate help. 

  1. Style-Taylor Swift

No song rec list I make can exist without me mentioning my brand. Taylor Swift. I recently found out I was sleeping on this incredible amazing song that will (sorry) never go out of style. It’s so upbeat. It’s so classy. It is the perfect pop song and it deserves an honorary Grammy for being so incredibly amazing. 

help i’m bobbing my head so hard. rose always picks the best recs. this song just feels all the feels, and taylor’s lyrics??? are??? too relatable despite never actually being in the situation she sings about? also the drums are great here. i could listen to this for a while and not get tired. watch me dance in line at the airport to this a month from now. 

my favorite: 400 Lux


Songs for Rose:

  1. The Starry Night – Starry Musical

i’ve been listening to this album on repeat for weeks, and i think rose would like this because– where to even begin? it (and the whole album) is based on the story of vincent van gogh and his hopes and dreams and struggle. everytime i listen to it there’s this small yearning for something i don’t even know, and i’d hope it’d be the same for rose.

I was really hoping Jo’d put something from Starry on here. I’ve been meaning to take a listen, so this is the perfect excuse. Okay wow. Um. That was beautiful. The lyricism? Amazing. I totally see what Jo means about the yearning feeling and I am now going to drop everything and obsess over this musical. I love the softness about it and the self discovery. 

  1. I’m Not Here – Me + T

i listened to this one obsessively since the movie came out a year ago, and it’s the perfect mix of sad and hopeful that you play on repeat in your room, alone at night when nobody’s there for you. probably couldn’t have coped if i wasn’t listening to this 24/7.

Why is Jo doing this to me? Too many feelings, I cannot cope. This is certainly the type of sad song I like. So quiet and heartfelt. There is so much depth to the song. Immediately adding this to my list of songs that make me cry, so I cannot listen to them properly. And the harmonies?! *Sobs softly*

  1. Rain – Ben Platt

ben platt is one of my favorite artists, and this song really defined my summer. it’s poppy and upbeat and kinda forces you to dance and breathe and try to live despite all the fears and worries. it’s what i wish i could say to the people who meant the most to me. 

This could easily be on the soundtrack to a Disney Channel show. I wasn’t the biggest fan of the production or the voice (In general I’m not the biggest fan of male singing voices) but the lyrics and beat were super cool. 

4. Armor – Sara Bareilles

one of the things rose and i have connected over is female empowerment, and this song embodies that in such a raw, rough, real, radiant way (yes i used alliteration. fight me.) it honors the women who have gone before, the women of now, and the women of the future, and i can’t think of anything quite as inspiring. 

Um wow. Her voice is so raw? I love the unique production and the message and the lyrics and wow I love this. How did I not know about this song before? The empowerment? The feminism vibes? The sense of community? Completely in love with this. 

  1. mother tongue – liana flores

this song kinda puts the feeling of cultural dysphoria to words, and it’s something that i’ve lived with for so long, growing up in 3 cultures and learning everything and nothing from them, and i think it’s something everyone can relate to regardless of whether they were immigrants or not. so i hope i’m right. 🙂

Is this indie ukulele music?! Yes my other brand. The whole song is super cool and echoey. I could relate to this one a lot. As someone who has a lot of strained family relationships and a sense of never belonging culturally to anywhere, I really felt it. I can’t wait to listen to more of Liana’s music because I know I’ll really like it. 

My favorite: mother tongue


you may have noticed that this theme of trading playlists isn’t original with us. and you’d be absolutely right. emily & joy, kenechi & sarah, clara & megan, and most recently enni & diamond have all done collabs like this, so go check them out if you’re looking for music to listen to. or you could drop your favorite recs like we did, which would be equally worthwhile.

in the meantime, i’ll be playing lorde on repeat this week and probably spamming rose with how much i regret not listening to taylor swift sooner, as you do.

~so dance along to the beat in your heart, rose & jo~

cherry on top of an already perfect day

Regenwetter - #rain #Regenwetter #paisajeurbano Regenwetter - #rain #Regenwetter

it’s going to rain tonight

so like any normal human being, i walked outside and screamed at the gigantic dark clouds filling the sky “KILL ME”

“PLEASE”

i’m tired okay? okay. i’m tired of interacting with people despite this already tiring thing called quarantine, i’m tired of how the internet lags during functions and graphs because e x c u s e me boi how the heck do you expect me to know that stuff right off the bat, and the third spider crawled in tonight. contrary to popular opinion, i don’t need a physical representation of all the texts i get from my exes. I DON’T. PLEASE. GO.

hgurnjlkrgvfnaeiurgjkn eirugjkn we’re doing jest fine folks, jest fine, step right up and claim your perfect sundae wonderful happy day where your senses are perfectly tuned and your brain isn’t fizzling and everything you process will never be normal because you have no freaking clue how that works and also the salem witch trials only existed because of a malefearignorance dominated world, the same one in which you’d be called a witch for feeling all of this. but replace the w with a b and now you’re the villain.

go fetch your spider, little wicked villain.

oh and the spider is now snooping around the house and if it lands on my violin i do not care what my uncle said i WILL burn this place to the g r o u n d

i mean, is it too much to wish for air conditioning? is that so bad to want?

or for a lightning strike on everyone inviting their friends over to make tiktoks despite the distance part of social distancing, knocking them asleep long enough to belt the last part of good for you? or a salt gun?

can it just rain already?

but i don’t get to control that. i don’t get to send a wind through the house to cool everything down even though sweat and heat are two things that disturb my skin and me. i don’t get air conditioning because those are only in the guest rooms, i don’t get to use the smaller, quieter fan because it’s broken, and i don’t get anyone to suffer with because everyone i care about is on the other side of the world, as we have discussed on here multiple times before and each time i do, i just want to scream and is this too much yet?

My sweet love watch the air raids

As the streets of London are not safe

lightning just crackled

like ripped through the sky

i wish i had that power

to be so deadly, so precise, so concentrated

but i’m not. and that sucks. and i want to go home.

sometimes i really hate my brain. sometimes i really hate feeling everything so much

my sister is like “but jo, you shouldn’t hate your senses, they’re so powerful and they can pick up on everything and they’re special”

and i don’t WANT to be special

i just want RAIN and cOLD and things that don’t FEEL

i want to be okay and i’m not

what a sad first world thing

And I wish that we could escape

As the beat of the drum keeps on its play

it’s raining now.

you know what i don’t care anymore watch me run into it and get hit by lightning

And I long to feel the rain on my face

So I wait, I want the bombs to fade away

okay okay okay that was

that was

cleansing, almost

that was amazing

the LIGHTNING

the smell of wet gravel

the individual drops

the squelch of rubber

have my senses calmed down enough?

maybe?

i’m gonna go listen to ajr and vian izak while i think about this because they g e t it, and i’m gonna look up mathcrash videos, and i’ll have lunch, and i’ll go text my friends, and watch some edits of my favorite people, and i’ll breathe and calm down and cool down and it is going to be okay, and maybe i was just a little storm cloud that needed to rain and hopefully the receiving end of that storm needed the downpour

but ask me to calm down about the spider and i will MURDER you.

that is all.

~will i find my home, will i find my home, my home in you, jo~

i’ve killed three people (well, thought about it anyway)

10 Reasons to Watch Starkid’s The Trail to Oregon – Short Story Long

everyday i start to sympathize with junior from starship a little more because all bugs can DIE, thANK you very MUCH. good DAY. you are NO friend of MINE, SIR.

ahem

that wasn’t the point.

(not that there was a point, but for the sake of the topic at hand we’ll make up for ourselves, an imaginary point, sharpened to perfection by everyone’s blatant disappointment that i’m not a doctor making money and my own internal angst that i’m not a doctor or making money.
specifically the money part.
that wasn’t the point either.
dang.
forget i said anything.)

anyway.

i have stolen a towel to protect my fair, hyposensitive skin from further insect attacks and these questions from maya’s blog, so with my casual confession to theft, we shall begin.

enjoy.

or not.

whichever happens first.


What is one vice you must fight against the most often?

aLL of ThEM
aLL

Which fictional character can you relate to the most and why?

lex foster from black friday because girl same, charles boyle from b99 because girl same, and agent curt mega from spies are forever because girl same. and diane from awae because i too would switch train seats to yell at gilbert for being a moron. oops that was more than one–

Pick three historical figures you wish to meet and have tea/coffee with. What you would discuss with them?

shrabani basu, katherine johnson, and nick lang let’s talk science, spies, and storytelling masterpieces queens

What story world would you choose to live in until your dying breath?

snaaaaap nothing’s coming to mind rn, but maybe something from the mandalorian, awae, or little women? i’d say hawkins and hatchetfield but i’d like to live thank you very much.

actually no i’m choosing wakanda wakanda sounds dope let’s head there permanently

What is one movie you wish more people would watch? (Or a book if you’re really not into films.)

you should not have asked me, a beloved film addict and analyst, for just the one that was a m i s t a k e
-jojo rabbit
-hidden figures
-a beautiful day in the neighborhood
-harriet
-knives out
-this is too much oops

What is your preferred weapon of murder?

see, i’m a simple potato. knives are just *chef’s kiss* sleek. equally thrilling are those small handguns most often seen in noir films. singing the reprises from every musical also works.

Do you prefer fiction, nonfiction, or poetry (to read, write, etc.)?

it really depends on my nonexist emotional status. if i’m mostly stable we can do nonfiction. if i’m in angst mode we will read every last fic from the ethan green & hannah foster tag and we. will. not. stop. everrrr

If you could be one age for a day, what age would you be and what would you do?

*at this point the little sonofawordwewon’tsayhereforthelittlechildren— the mosquito returned to be the physical representation of my imposter syndrome and forced me to grab another towel. now i look like that blankets and sunglasses vine. it’s for survival*

17, so when people ask if i’m the dancing queen i can go hAh yoU thOuGHT

… or 21, so i can do everything without someone asking if i should ask my parents for permission. i choose to buy 36 frozen pizzas, thank you very much

Do you ship Earnin and Imraldera? (if you don’t know who they are or don’t know the answer, it’s easy: it’s yes, you do)

what a flabbergasting ship name that would be, no thank you

Which of your bloggery buddies (alliteration always amazes) would you end and why (back to murder, we are!). How would you cover it up?

is
is this
is this advocating for murder
how violent
probably enni, because she can’t seem to die. and i’d just say she was gonna go try finding the aflac duck and that would suffice.

(seriously tho don’t do the murder kids)


and that was that

enjoy your day folks and never miss an opportunity to smash a bug into a dead little pulp

if you care to spread the sentiment:

-when does all this craziness officially become a dystopian
-what’s the strangest word you ever heard
-who let the dogs out
-how do you respond to facebook clickbait
-what’s does the a in “jo a ruth” stand for (wrong answers only)
-what is the worst star wars movie
-how would you remove evidence of arson, given 5 minutes and a tool of your choice
-whaaaat dooo youuu know about loveeeeeee

~your wagon is on fiREEEEEEEEE, jo~

it’s mercenary, is what it is

mmmm

this is a strange little story

of a strange little child

who went and became a work hazard.

you see, this child was looking at work in creating content, as one does who daydreams in the night and lives out nightmares for an afternoon’s entertainment.

but to do that, they needed a much more powerful device. and the small, barely working netbook that was their pride and joy only two years ago was not much of a powerful or a device.

as you can imagine, since money is tight and the opportunities to earn that money is even tighter, any consideration of getting an upgrade was tossed out the window.

but.

that child is me, and if you pair me with anything, it’s almost guaranteed to break. or, well, get water spilled on it, the keys drenched and then later melted off, nothing big.

*sigh*

so as you can imagine, i’m currently writing this on my phone.

how the good snick snack frickety frack did that happen, you may ask? 

to be honest, i don’t know. one moment i was drinking water, the next moment i was wading through water frantically googling alternatives for rice. (grass is a poor material, i learned that the hard way.)

there were many funny anecdotes gleaned from that unfortunate event, including but not limited to trying to put the laptop in the oven (disaster), struggling to unscrew the back to get the battery (disaster disaster) and finally, in desperation, grabbing a hairdryer.

and turning it on.

to max.

on the keys.

the plastic keys.

(disaster disaster disaster)

“why are you putting your hands on your hearts?”

“to pay respect”

“but it’s a laptop”

“no, it’s for us *holds out ruined keyboard* because we’re DEAD”

in hindsight, i mean, m a y b e direct heat was going to melt the keyboard, but how was i supposed to know that?

“your laptop’s ruined!”

“yes, you could, in fact, say it was smoked out.”

i’m currently about to be executed for crimes against mankind and horrible puns, but in my defense, the opportunity sizzled out of nowhere!

i’ll take myself to jail, thank you very much.

i was telling the tragic tale to a few friends when someone mentioned the incident would be hilarious in a book sometime. which i immediately agreed with, and from then wished i could garner some interest and coin for these misplaced efforts.

and well. 

that led to this. 

*points to link below*

it’s like an art commission thing! but stories! 😀

there isn’t so much of a pressure to give, but if you particularly liked one of my works and wanted to help fund this sad little moron, then that’s how you could, whether for a story or for the generosity in your heart. both ways, it’s extremely appreciated.

and yes, i’ll try to be more careful and less punny.

*jumps into the void*

basic starter pack to take care of one kangaroo child

so.

you have, in your possession, a living, breathing, reality altering jo. who this jo may be does not matter, as long as they bear the characteristics and mannerisms of a jo. (see list of jos for more information.)

how you got said jo is ambiguous at best— maybe they were shipped over to your place without asking, or they somehow ended up traveling through space and time to your front door, or you picked one up at your local thrift store and thought it would make interesting decor. who knows at this point. bun wanted a jo and got them 11 years late, so if you happen to place an order for a jo, expect a rather lengthy shipping time, and a rather slow working jo in general. if you’re lucky, you can speed up the operation system of a jo with sugar, but only if you’re prepared to deal with a high, hyper, and very, very hysterical jo.

there are no easy ways here. you’re stuck.

naturally, you have to ask yourself the hard questions, like “why did curt just leave owen” and “why are there so many zoom memes when zoom has a two star app rating” and “what makes up a jo’s existence“ and “why am i even reading this”, in which case i strongly recommend contemplating your existence.

having had to deal with myself for the past who knows how long, i have complied the Starter Pack of Jo Things, in case you find yourself in need of it or with a jo.

in all cases, i feel for you.

aHeM

fruit gummies

your jo of choice is either suffering from a high metabolism or mild hypoglycemia. this means they either eat too much when they shouldn’t or eat too little when they really should or both, in the rarest case. for this we recommend preparing a snack budget and an intricate knowledge of where the discount gummies are in the grocery store. we do NOT recommend eating said snacks yourself, otherwise you’ll have to buy them all over again to keep your jo from fainting. (frubs learned that the hard way.) if successfully won, you can convince your jo to do various things in exchange for the sucrose, except probably wear pink.

noise cancelling headphones

most jos tend to either have very wonky senses or just do not like people and interaction, period. that’s where the headphones come in. merely place the device on your jo’s head and connect it to a steady playlist of calm music. (emphasis on calm. the day this jo made the mistake of playing hamilton on campus they were met with strange looks.) because of the inner isolation from society, your jo will mostly likely bob their head or tap their feet. it may look adorable, but it will never last long enough for a picture, so don’t even try.

big tshirts

this truly depends on the variation of jo. the jojo kind are comfortable with wearing properly fitted shirts and similar items of clothing, but the joey kind insist on wearing something they can curl up and cuddle in, hence the name. giant graphic (preferably fandom related, as most jos are major nerds) shirts, hoodies, and sweats are basically all they will wear, so the only formal thing you can expect to force them to wear would be hogwarts style robes.

camera

ahhhh. an almost tangible memory making device. one of these will be on your jo’s person at any given moment, whether it’s a cutesy polaroid camera or a basic dslr, and they will take pictures of everything. everything. this should not be a problem until you find a picture of you snoring in high quality. kiss your dignity goodbye. probably invest in film cameras so you can have a break while the jo figures out how to use it and ends up getting distracted by instagram filters.

phone

possibly one of the most important things on this list. in addition to being a lifesaver as you frantically call your jo so they can wake up and unlock the door to your house (which they accidentally conveniently locked you out of), it also serves as a homing device, mini ranting tool, and source of information that your jo will later spam you with. a necessity indeed. and preferably pick the ringtone before your jo finds the setting first.

ukulele

except for a few stray jos, most need a source of constant music surrounding them in faux sanity. hence the four string wonder known as a ukulele. only don’t expect typical songs like riptide and can’t help falling in love— they WILL play the entire flight of the bumblebee in all parts if they have to dIe to do it.

warm hugs

this is literally a human need, but more so if you’re a jo and you’re insecure, sensory, and enjoy turning everyone into your personal real life teddy bear. jos will wince if they’re touched unfamiliarly though, so be nice to them, hugs are sacred and only given by those they trust.

long wooden staffs

if you would like to not pay a ton of galaxy units and also not worry about getting your hand sliced off, wooden staffs are a great alternative to lightsabers, and they can also pass as walking sticks, so your jo can tote their staff literally everywhere and swing it at will. this is especially useful in a hostage situation, when you need a distraction and your jo has no clue what’s happening. per usual.

fluffy blankets

a fairly simple thing to explain. simply purchase one of those ubersoft warmth squares, leave it around, wait for a jo to flock to it, wrap them up with the blanket, and go road tripping across america. this ONLY works with the blanket, no exceptions.

sensory toys

look, it’s either a fidget spinner or a prop knife, and let me tell you, if you knew the appalling tales involving prop knives, you’d WANT the fidget spinner.

speaking from experience of course.

kitchen tables

so you know how cats have scratching posts, but usually end up in cardboard boxes?

well.

it’s a similar concept.

charger

DON’T EVEN QUESTION THIS. and don’t blink when your jo ends up accidentally snapping their iphone charger clean into two. again.

mini backpack

jos carry quite a lot with them. emotional baggage, mental stress, excessively confusing memes, and all of the aforementioned things in the starter pack. they are also very protective and proud of these carrying bags, so pick something that doesn’t break and has lots of pockets, because they can and will need it.

~

the last thing is not included in the starter pack, but it bears mentioning that if you have a jo, they, in turn, have you.

and in most cases, that’s really all they’ll need.

have fun taking care of your jo, and don’t get too flustered when they start taking care of you. they tend to carry that trait somehow. don’t ask why.

(but seriously, do Not leave them alone with any snacks because you will never see your skittles again.

never.)

~all i have to offer is myself, jo~

when it’s dark, look for stars

persona holding star near the window during sunset

let it be known that despite popular opinion, i occasionally think about things of a slightly higher caliber than angsty fanfics and how upsetting the entirety of the God’s not dead trilogy is. 

occasionally.

granted, do i let this serious jo come out to discuss important deep topics and sound like they know what they’re talking about?

of course not!

is it there nevertheless?

i- 

i mean, i hope so.

why am i talking in especially big words that you won’t see unless you go to the actual site? concentrate jo.

*stuffs not-helpful jo down the trash*

this is pretty much what amie has to deal with on an almost daily basis, so why she let me sign up to help her spread the word for her blog re-launch i genuinely do not know. (sorry nova.)

ames is possibly one of the coolest girls i could’ve ever met both off and onscreen, and like, she awesome?? straight up?? i don’t think i’ve ever had small talk with ames– every time we’ve started out with a mundane topic like the weather, it always spirals down into something like faith or feminism or how important the arts are in a world like this one. which i think is something rare and should be protected at all costs. i can shoot straight with amie and she will spill the hot tea on my work in all analytical honesty, and i love that. i love that i can ask her unfluffy, hard questions and she’ll answer it, and when the conversation is over, it’s like we both walk away strengthened, the whole iron sharpens iron thing.

(if you haven’t noticed, amie is on my ready to die for list. that list is rather short.)

so because this is a day late and boiii it’s been a weird time to be alive, so enjoy and go check out amie’s blog. she has a giveaway and some great written and filmed content out there and her *clap* work *clap* is *clap* simply *clap* wonderful. 😀

*finger-guns*

~ ~ ~

how would you describe yourself in three words? 

This is a really hard question. To describe a personality in three words, is so hard, because a personality is very large. Regardless of this, I think I would describe myself as loyal, deep, and artistic. 

would you consider yourself a feminist and why?

Wow. How to say this? How about I take one of Emma Watson’s quotes. “If you stand for equality, then you’re a feminist, sorry to tell you.” I stand for equality.

what’s an unlikely thing that you’re especially passionate about?

I’m am especially passionate about the fact that “Gone with the Wind” destroyed history. There is nothing historically correct in this retelling of the Atlanta campaign and the Southern culture. I should stop before I start ranting about it. XD And I’m also really passionate about talking to old people and learning from them. 

where do you go to calm down?

Oh, what a good question. I often get emotionally riled up, and as much as I try to look very calm on the outside, I’m not. I’ll play music, light a candle, write, process in silence, read the Bible, or write a blog post. I usually stay in my bedroom when I’m upset. Once I totally understand what I’m feeling, I’ll often go and talk to someone about it. Basically give in to a rant. XD

if you could change anything about this year, what would it be? 

My first response of coronavirus, but the virus has been able to make me grateful for some decisions that my parents and I made in the past few months. I honestly wouldn’t change anything, because if I did, I probably wouldn’t be sitting right here, right now. 

when did you begin to start creating content, and what made you decide to pursue it? 

Online content? In 2017. But I was creating magazines way before that. I think I started my magazine in 2015, and I would send it out to my penpals. I would write short stories, family updates, and interviews in the magazine. 

what made you first decide to blog? is there any favorite first moment you remember from that experience?

So, my magazine was getting too expensive to print and mail out to all the people I wanted to keep updated. So I made the magazine into a writing magazine, with a subscription. Unfortunately at the beginning of 2020, I had to end that magazine, but in order to keep everyone to stay in touch with my family, I started a family blog. But after a month or so, I realized I couldn’t post my thoughts or writing on the family blog, so I started one for myself. My favorite first moment? I remember the big deal when I reached 50 subscribers. I think I did a Q&A, and it was just such a big deal. I was grinning from ear to ear. XD That was so long ago. *pats little Amie* 

how do you think blogging has shaped you as a person, and do you think it is a good learning experience to have? 

Blogging has helped me learn dedication and scheduling, as well as just opening the world for me. I’ve met so many people through the platform, and by writing things out for others to understand, I’ve been able to understand them myself, not to mention the technical side of keeping up a blog. I do think it’s a good learning experience. I honestly think trying anything new is a good experience. Sure, it might not be for you, but you know how to do it and how to help others if you need to. 

what’s something you want people to know about you that they keep getting wrong? 

You see, I don’t really listen to what others say about me. Sometimes it hurts for awhile, but I write a post to myself about why it’s not true, or why it is true, and why I should change or embrace that fact. People that I talk to often don’t make assumptions about me, and for that I’m very thankful. Even on social platforms where everyone is known for “something,” I’ll ask people, and they don’t know. Apparently I’m just me, and so I’m very thankful. 
But one thing I can think of is this. My name is A M I E not A M Y and Anne is spelled WITH an E. Thank you. 

what’s your idea of a good, healthy relationship?

Where both parties in that relationship feel safe and heard. They don’t have to walk on eggshells, and can dive into conversations on hard topics they disagree on without worrying that in disagreeing, they will end up being hurt. Because they respect, honor, and love each other. As well as having quite a bit of fun in the process. 😉 

~ ~ ~

well.

i have a little project in the works that’s (hopefully)‌ gonna be announced in a few days, so i have nothing else for you XD

therefore

begone

sends you to amie’s blog with a snap of my fingers

~we can talk all night, and not run out of things to talk about, jo~