favorite discographies

it’s the month of writing. and death. and summer.

and music.

and thus, here we are.

(no i would never be able to take any of the following photos, creds to their site or to imdb)


Rob Simonsen Picture

rob simosen is cool. like, really cool. like life of pi and stargirl and love, simon and captive state cool. i first heard his work in gifted last year and it’s been a beautiful symphony of music since.

favorite recent listen: butterfly 1 (chu and blossom)

ryan o’neal, or as you all may know, sleeping at last, has been the composer of my childhood background music, summers, trauma, most of my life really. the work he’s done over the years is just really inspiring and mindblowing (a bunch of shows, films, and ads, atlas, the sleeping at last podcast, to name a few) and his covers and singles are just… hhh. amazing. i’ve been playing many beautiful things and atlas ii on repeat lately, it’s been great.

track that peeks into your soul: two

you should know who alexandre desplat is, he scored a few magical wizard kid films, and also little women. if you don’t, that’s okay, you’re probably familiar with a lot of his work through just classic cinema and maybe the academy awards. i find that interesting about certain artists; you learn to love their art before you even know who the artist is. it’s really fascinating.

best album to burn midnight hours to: probably little women, that’s a whole trip and a half.

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pinar toprak is a breathing genius, and i find it really sad that the film industry and its eager audience sleep on her work and the work of so many other female film composers. we pay a lot of due attention to john williams and hans zimmer, but toprak scored captain marvel, purl, stargirl, krypton, and a ton of other tracks that’s not being recognized nearly as much as it should, which seems off. anyway i just think she’s neat please check her out and go make hollywood actually try for once ty

track that will knock you into finishing that project: i’m all fired up, captain marvel

 Braille Focus / LeBrun S. Jackson Digital Artistry

tamar-kali has a really cool vibe with her work that i stumbled on listening to the spotify mixes at like, four am one time and it’s really entrancing and invigorating and just. ahh. really great get lost in your head music.

something vaguely different yet familiar: mudbound. like. all of it.

terence blanchard‘s sound in blackkklansmen was so chillingly fun, and harriet equaled if not beat that standard of musicality. i could easily get lost in those sounds for hours. a tale of God’s will and flow are some of my favorites. at this point i’m just geeking out about all of this but then i suppose i have good reason to.

the track that Will force you to stop and go “wow”: goodbye song, harriet

The Peanut Butter Falcon

this one was a collab and i don’t remember everyone by name, but this one is just,, so– idk what the world is, euphoria inducing? clara shared it a while ago and it’s quickly become one of my favorites and then i want to go watch the movie which leads to another rant nobody asked for so i’ll stop right there, but if you ever feel like wandering and being home at the same time, give this a listen.

the “i want” song you’d hear on the radio going to the lake and never being able to forget: running for so long (house a home)

is this a nerd thing to do? perhaps. but i can’t think of a new month or a new season or anything new and exciting without music, and well, these artists make amazing music. so. that’s that.

anyway okay that’s it byee

~time moves fast now, like tires on the road/but i donโ€™t mind it, i always dreamed to go/the long nights over, and iโ€™m starting to believe/iโ€™m not as broken as some made me out to be, jo~

everything all at once, i suppose

i have never made sense, i never will, don’t worry too much about it

sick Archives - Reaction GIFs

it’s

MY

breakdown and

I

get to choose the level of teenage angst

*i n h a l e s*

hi! i’m jo! i identify as a moron, allergies include shrimp, dust mites, and the whole world apparently, unaddressed depression Thriving, and you’re watching

*THE SAD TACO TRUCK FIRE CHANNEL*

where nothing, and i can’t stress this clearly enough, nothing, goes right

featuring! war! bloodshed! government invasion of privacy! the beginnings of trauma! my nonexistent sanity! and most importantly, pizza with pineapple on it!

have f u n with That, Kids!


when i die say something nice
wear comfy pajamas and bring fried rice
watch all the instagram stories i set to private
the things i’ve only said in the silence

when i die please gather round
pretend i was a memory you won’t throw out
wipe your tears and blow your nose
forget about it all when you go

when i die if i ever called you friend
do me a favor and for an hour pretend
that the person you came to grieve
actually made any mark in the light of eternity


my pinterest feed seems to worry about me and i admire that very much

like lately it’s been full of angry twitter posts and tumblr rants that cry for the dystopian protagonists to begin saving the day and like, can we handle that rn? nope

so now it has art of fantastical places and edits and happy comics and baking recipes and room inspiration and laugh out loud trashposts and all of this grossly domestic vibe which is super sweet but i wouldn’t ever say that if my life depended on it (nevermind that i just did)

the question is is it pinterest,

or is it the people who i follow that saved me from stressing over another source of bad news

either way, thank you


the following is a snippet of something i sent in to select friends, enemies, and undecided, and i figured it fit with the crack vibes this is emanating, so here you go

"i cannot talk very well. 
especially to big macho guys. 
especially if said big macho guy had seen me successfully hurl a knife into a palm tree and cackle like a stereotypical witch 
(more on that later.)
"a n x i et yyyyy"
"jo:
nightguard:
jo: AGHHH HUMAN"

i figured this out last night watching the storm beat down on the windows and honestly it passes the vibe check

my greatest fear is being irrelevant

insignificance

and i wonder why, you know? is it a mental thing to feel everything more deeply than they’re meant to be? is it just me? could i just inherently not be good enough for anyone to want to interact? will i be doomed to leaving people too stunned to react?

and i don’t know
how would i

what is the point of art if nobody sees it? what is the purpose of a message that isn’t heard? why say anything if nobody listens? why exist if it ultimately doesn’t matter?

and i struggle with reminding myself that things don’t require a useful purpose to be loved, and that is Okay, like how technically nobody needs nutella but the world would be a dismal place without it

and perhaps insignificance isn’t a horror, because then when you do anything nobody can say “but you’re supposed to be meaningful!” because you never were to begin with
so you can just reply, “no, i’m being me” and that’s the best meaningful you can get


so here’s the thing

we’ve saying “black lives matter” seriously for a couple of weeks now and the message has been cried out for literal years

and yet, the overwhelming response seems to be “we Know, Stop Saying It :((”

and that’s frustrating

people being hurt without reason is frustrating. the hurters getting away with it is frustrating. the people who were supposed to help about it doing the exact opposite is frustrating. being ignored and being rejected and being laughed at and being forgotten is frustrating.

so no wonder people shout

just all that to say

harm can be passive


a m i n i p la y l i s t

it would be you – ben rector
so will i – ben platt
battle cry – the family crest
paper rings – taylor swift
king of anything – sara barielles


a self portrait

“don’t we look m a r v e l o u s, isn’t it g a y” – talkfine
(look colors)


oooh some beautiful people did some beautiful things lately:

look it’s weez!

evelyn seems so cool

sarah cracked me up

ahhh clara


and finally some closing notes:

  • it’s summer
  • if you look up june 13 2019 and june 13 2020 on here they’re both drastically different but about the same thing
  • it’s summer!!
  • for independence day everyone should watch hamilton and reconsider their heritage (and also donate to a charity of their choice)
  • look up juneteenth and be still for a moment
  • google baby ducks tripping over their feet
  • call enni a duck in her about page on the 27th (pls i’m not kidding)
  • summer!!
  • remember it’s june love who you love and also respect people’s pronouns
  • do something absolutely horribly stupidly childishly fun that screams summer because yes

โŽฏ  ๐˜ฑ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต : @๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ท๐˜ญ๐˜น๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐Ÿ”ฎ * ยท๏พŸ

~we’re all a little mad sometimes, jo~

free spirit

aka what this post is called.png

(Jj. you said bloggers write about things like tripping on tree roots and make it a big deal.

You’re not wrong, crazy.)

My bike’s full name is Free Spirit Raleigh, and if you believe the story, it’s been in the family since the 90’s. I almost wonder if I should have it. I’ve only used it once, last week, after not biking for 2 years. What’s learnt stays learnt, hopefully.

The bike is mine now– the broke kid’s car, since the hope is I can take that to work. Assuming I find work. Now that it’s summer nobody objects, so long I check in and keep up with homework and don’t make anything explode.

I’ve learned to slam on the brakes, before I even turn the key.

The prospect scares me. Not the exploding part cause some things won’t die out (sparkling juice you failed me) but the whole work thing. If you told me a year ago that I would be job hunting, Bible memorizing, story creating, and weirdo being, I’da called you crazy.

Look who’s crazy now.

I breathe in and push off- 9 year old me would’ve been proud how I managed to keep it straight– THE TURN THE TURN JO TURN—

Ow.

I stop in time, but not before almost crashing into the fence and getting the neighbor’s dog to bark at me. Great. I need to work on those turns though if I want any chance of staying alive in my city. More turns then you could think possible in a place where the lights never die.

Travel light and see the world right, you’ll never know if you never go.

I think to myself I’ve probably gotten the hang of it- I’ve figured out how to ring the too far placed bell, the perfect gear, how to not crash into a fence and disrupt the neighbor’s dog. Which is why I stop and head for the swings.

“Be careful little children,” Dad jeers from his school bus- a tiny miracle we’d caught each other in time.

It’s a small world after all.

I stick my tongue out and swing higher, further, faster baby, cause this is the only way I can fly without paying the hospital a visit.

But one day, I’m hopping that elevator train and I’m gonna fly!

Why does that day have to be so soon? I want to freeze time, suspend myself in the air, and let June 2, 2019, 11 AM stay like that forever. I want to enjoy the little things like birds I’ve never seen before and rich green grass and warm sun and I want to be a little kid. Never mind the fact I already am.

I don’t know who I’ll become, but I’ll be going, going, gone.

I sympathize with my bike because I too want to be a free spirit. Ocean blue and running, with no limits to what I could do. The work is worth it. It has to be.

Then why on earth am I so afraid of potential? Life’s, the people’s around me, my own?

It’s time to try defying gravity.

I’m no Daredevil, I tell myself as I pedal into under the bridge, jump from the bar, and release the brakes. Probably am running into things blind though.

But then where’s the excitement in rushing into something you see clearly?

Life is a lucid dream.

I’m running to somewhere I know nothing about, a haze, a blur, I don’t know it and it doesn’t know me. How grateful I am God knows, because I swear if it was up to me I’d probably have crashed a long time ago. *remembers the sparkling juice incident of 2k18 and shudders*

Here’s to the dreamers who never sleep, the runners who never stop. Free spirits.

I’m reaching for the heights, and chasing all the lights that shine.

I push forward on my bike and keep going.

Yikes, I better check the air in the tires when I get home.

Does anybody have a map?